23 February 2007

At long last the return of the Crazed American

I know all of the legions of readers (all three of you) have clamored for the return of my pithy commentary on modern America. There have been a few reasons for my tardiness and lack of posting-ness...
1) I am actually quite tired of Modern America and our inability to think independently. Lies are too easily believed. Untruths are uttered, and if it is in keeping with the political thought of a reader/ listener/ watcher - they take it as the literal breath of G-d.
2) Apparently the death of Anna Nicole Smith is more important than the impending war with:
Iran
Venezuela
Mexico
China
Russia
North Korea
Only in America could a public's opinion and sense of priority be so- WAIT - Did you see what Britney did to her hair and that papparrazi's car?!?! Oh, my gawd!
3) I am damn tired of celebrities in general. I for one haven't seen a single of the best picture nominees. Although I do want to see the Departed and Letters from Iwo Jima, I chose not to see the two in theatres. My reasons for denying the movie companies my hard earned ticket dollars:
a) I am a father and a devoted husband. "I don't have the luxury" of time.
b) I am a skier and even thought the mountains that I live in haven't been blessed with the greatest amount of snow, I do have 44 days on mountain!
c) The Departed is a Scorcese flick, I want to be able to press pause and rewind.
d) The Letters from Iwo Jima is the Battle of Iwo Jima told from the perspective of the Imperial Japanese Army. Being the Crazed American, and having majored in the European Theatre of WWII in college, I know enough about the military forces of Imperial Japan, to recognize that they were nasty motherfu--ers with no regard for decency or human life. Had I seen the movie in the theatre, I would have been that hateful jackass (who had been clapping every time a Japanese defender shuffled off his mortal coil, whether it be by flame thrower, small arms, or the liberal application of Marine artillery and Naval gunfire) in the front who stood up and shouted: "Hooray! Why the hell didn't you just all get together and do the ritual suicide circle jerk in 1930, and saved everybody a shitload of trouble and grief, especially the Chinese, and given my Grandfather back the latter half of his 1945, so he could have present for the birth of my mother?! Dying for the Emperor hurts, don't it General?" - right as Kuribayashi stabbed himself in the gut. Now I can do that in the comfort of my own home.
5) I have determined there is a very short list of people or things that I am willing to fight and die for. Odd's are if you know the true identity of the Crazed American, you're on the list. Other things:
a) The United States of America
b) Children
c) really good barbecue - Southern Georgia Style
6) The older I get the more tenuous I realize that every thing is - how little holds us all together - how grateful we all should be for all we have. We live in the greatest country in the world, and I sincerely hope we do not go and FUBAR the whole shebang because of our own pitiful shortsightedness. I, for one vow to connect more with those who mean so much to me, I have been far too self contained as of late.
7) Battlestar Galactica better do something to get itself back on some sort of story telling track. Lost a lot of steam when Starbuck and Adama the younger started locking lips - don't get me wrong - the tension was cool in the earlier seasons, but once they crossed the line in the missing year... At the same time killing Starbuck off, or making her character more minor is a big mistake, in my opinion (which with $5.00 won't buy you a caramel macchiato at Starbucks, hehe). It'd be like having a re-imagined Star Trek Movie and killing off Spock. The Crazed American like his Starbucks (Benedict or Sackhoff) to be messed up, but functional, and he definitely is a fan of Spock, and Mr. Nimoy. I didn't see the last episode and, I don't really care that I missed it all that much. I want and intelligent sci-fi serial. I also have a hell of a good idea for the next Star Trek TV series, and let me tell you the first Episode starts with a little on screen text: "Historian's note: That abomination that was Enterprise - there was an NX-01 called the Enterprise, her Captain and crew were as depicted, they just had none of the alien contact that was depicted, save for the Vulcans." I mean what's the point of having a Star Trek Series if you decide to throw out what is already accepted cannon?
8) A friend of mine wants to start a commune (at least he did a while back). I think I might have found some land...
9) Weathermen are useless. Climatologists are useless. I do not believe that humans are currently capable of stopping global warming for one reason: there are too damned many of us now. Not to mention, no human being is going to let his child freeze to death. Also, I live in a very cold area, and if I went outside right now in shirtsleeves, I'd be dead in an hour. It's that cold. Global warming adherents, for the love of Christ every time I'm about to say OK, you might have a point, I hear a story about someone being attacked or censured for speaking out about the consensus. The Crazed American believes to the extent of armed conflict the sanctity of the right of free Speech and Thought, especially when it comes to Scientific Speech and Thought. If we do not allow dissenting voices to be heard, especially in the Scientific community and rule by consensus (Who the Fuck came up with that brilliant Idea? Al Gore?) then we are doomed to condemn someone who may be right, no ton the "right" side of the majority. Also, weathermen can't tell me accurately what the weather is going to be in 20 minutes, much less that fifty years from now. Also climatologists cannot accurately tell me if the temperature is going to fluctuate 1/7th of a degree in 5, 10, or 20 years. If they could, they'd make a lot of money 5 years ago telling ski resorts when to surge their snowmaking capacity, or when to expect a bad hurricane season - and be right. Last time I checked this hurricane season was rather tame...
Alright that's enough for my foray back into the game. I'll try harder to keep up with it this time.
Out,
Crazed American

1 comment:

Escape From Peoria said...

I found myself standing, unable to sit down, as President Bush bestowed the Congressional Medal of Honor on Lt.Col.(Ret.) Bruce Crandall, call sign: Ancient Serpent Six.
Does the Crazed American have any thoughts on that?