20 September 2006

Dear Mr. President Chavez...

To the Honorable President Chavez
Caracas, Venzuela

Dear Sir:

Nice Speech.

Please cease and desist your name calling of my President, especially while speaking in New York City. Please keep in mind that if my President was truly the devil, you'd be able to watch all of your precious oil fields ablaze. The fires would be caused by stand off range land attack and anti-ship missiles that would be provided to you free of charge by the United States Navy, who would also be happy to relieve you of your Navy and Air Force. We won't even give you anything to shoot back at.

Relieved of the onerous burden of all of those petrodollars, I believe you might have a bit of a change in tune, especially when you can't pay your creditors in Russia and China. Then, a month later when your cash and oil reserves dry up, have fun trying to pay your army. You know, the guys that put you into office?

Also, sir, any stink of sulphur that you may have smelled whilst standing at the poduim of the General Assembly, can quickly be explained by two things:

Occam's Razor:
1) Do you really think that George Bush is Satan? If so, then, you must believe that your G-d or gods will protect you.
Corrollary - I doubt you are Muslim. Your friend, the Honorable President Ahmedinejad, will probably want to plant your head on a stake right after he's done with us. Remember that the next Caliphate will be global. If you don't belive me, ask him or your ol' buddy Fidel next time you see him.

-or -

2) The famous adage: "He who smelt it, dealt it." Next time don't get extra sauerkraut on that hot dog from Vinnie's hot dog stand before you give a speech to the UN.

All I know is that I will try to avoid buying gasoline from stations that get their oil from Venezuela.

Have a good trip home, sir. Don't let the door hit you in your Potentate - Dictator-a$$.

Sincerely,

The Crazed American

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